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Theo Hart

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  • What if Beauregard Was a Giant Chicken?

    One night, just a few weeks before major Confederate military operations were to begin, all the Rebel generals met to discuss strategy over a fine southern meal. Present at this ...

    • Short Story
    7 min read


have u ever noticed how ugly rosy-lipped batfish r? and not like in the “aw ur so ugly ur cute” way that like opossums r — no they’re just hideously ugly beasts that should never have existed and r the epitome of evolution fails. the stupidity, blank look, head emptiness. they’re horrible n everyone who likes them r horrible too. they truly have the worst fan-base >:[
— Shady